Our expectations are being challenged in so many ways. For example, I grew up believing in a simple work ethic: work hard, be loyal, and you will build a secure life. But for many people in southwestern Ontario, that expectation no longer matches reality.

In 2024, 1,873 businesses in Ontario filed for insolvency, up from 1,280 in 2023 (Office of the Superintendent of Bankruptcy). Statistics Canada also looked at how long people stayed with the same employer in 2024. It found that 48.1 percent of workers aged 25 to 34 had been with their current employer for at least one year but less than five years (Statistics Canada, Quality of Employment in Canada). For anyone who grew up believing that hard work and loyalty would lead to lasting security, these figures point to an unsettling erosion of expectation.

Deep disappointments such as these leave us emotionally tangled. We may ask, “Is it me? Did I do something wrong? Or am I being treated unfairly?” Either way, shame and resentment can grow, and divisions can deepen. We may turn inward, compare our lives with others', and wonder why we seem to lack what they have. Before long, we may find ourselves shutting others out.

Disappointed expectations can also shape how we see the world. Our attention settles on what has gone wrong and the pain we are experiencing. As our vision narrows, we may begin to divide the world into “us” and “them.”

When our vision narrows, so does our sense of what is possible. When we focus on what we have lost, it can be hard to think clearly about what we can do next. We may miss new opportunities, withdraw from others, or stop working toward changes that could improve our lives and communities.

Disappointed expectations need not build walls or limit healthy responses. Consider this imagined scenario: an Ontario family whose main breadwinner lost his long-held factory job. Although he desperately sought suitable employment, the family’s financial situation was frightening and the future uncertain. Then a friend from work, who had also lost his job at the same company, came to visit. The family was struggling with their own disappointment, but they opened the door anyway. They put on the coffee, brought out a meal, and gave him a few extra cans of food to take home. They sat together, listened, and empathized. Before long, the mood in the room shifted to laughter and stories.

Hardship should never be minimized. But disappointed expectations should not define who we are or who we become. We need security, but we also need to see beyond our losses. As I see it, we are far more than our suffering.

Circumstances will not always unfold as we hoped, and fairness does not always come easily. When disappointment comes, we face a choice. We can stay open to the world and the people around us, or we can allow anger and resentment to consume us, returning again and again to what went wrong, what we deserved, and who is to blame.

The tough question, then, is this: what kind of people will we choose to be in the face of our disappointments? Will we let resentment narrow our vision and divide us from others? Or will we remain open to one another and to the good that we can still do?